With his hands up in front of him pressed against something, in this case the table, it keeps them out of the way and leaves you free to play with his underwear however you wish. See how this position provides the perfect wedgie opportunity. Robert immediately goes into the position. Once you have taught your wedgie victim to be more obedient towards you, you can now prepare him for the wedgie. That was enough for Robert to listen to me, but your results may vary. When I was training Robert, I simply told him to do what I said or I would give him wedgies that hurt twice as much. Gus beckons Robert over, Robert stands next to Gus. So, the first thing you want to do is properly demonstrate your control over your nerd. He’s well trained so he knows exactly what to do. Robert has been kind enough to allow me to use him in this demonstration. Audience applauds and laughs as they see Robert’s outfit tucked in checked shirt, ironed trousers, bow tie, large spectacles, suspenders. A male walks onto the stage, looking a year younger than Gus. One may call him my personal nerd in fact. Allow me to introduce a special guest, someone I’ve enjoyed wedgieing for a very long time. While the bullies were able to take over once again, the fact that the revolution even happened is proof that a lot of us have lost our way, forgotten the true way to give a nerd a wedgie, no matter how simple. Small murmurs of agreement from the audience. And I’m sure we all heard about what happens when nerds think they’re able to outsmart and overthrow bullies over at Hartford School, yes? I walk around school and I see haphazard wedgies being given out, the nerds no longer humiliated as much as they used to be, due to lack of order. However, in the past few years I feel there has been a lack of structure and order in regards to these wedgies. ![]() The pain of having your butt invaded by cotton, polyester or spandex, along with the embarrassment of having a very intimate pair of your clothing exposed and revealed to anyone watching it was only natural for bullies to adopt this method in asserting their dominance. Audience laughs louder, along with some clapping-īut yes, wedgies it seemed were the perfect method to humiliate nerds. I hope one day we’ll discover Shakespeare’s lost draft for Romeo and Juliet, where the Capulet's all give Romeo and his friends hanging wedgies, leading to a half-hour monologue about how much pain their asses are in. Dare I say ever since the concept of underwear has existed, the fabric has found its way up someone’s backside one way or another. The wedgie itself has been around for even longer. The relationship between the nerd and the bully has long been established, with a certain hierarchy involved between the two, that of course being bullies on the top, and nerds on the bottom. ![]() This can also be used as a guide for any nerds in the audience who wish to understand the appropriate reaction to being given a wedgie from a bully. This is an instructional talk for bullies of all ages on the art of giving the perfect wedgie.
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